I've been reading a lot about stress lately and what effects it can have on your body and all I can say about that is holy hell because it is terrifying. I think I've always been a bit of an anxious person but the career I choose sure didn't do me any favours there.
Teaching is the type of job where you are constantly supporting others and giving so much of yourself. Your supporting children, other teachers but perhaps most importantly your supporting families. Reassuring anxious Mums and Dads, doing parent teacher chats and bridging the gaps between knowledge and spirit. Teaching parents about their child's holistic well being (terrifyingly of which most know nothing!) through all of that I'm some how meant to find the time for myself and my husband?
I think this journey (albeit a very rough one so far!) has taught me just how incredibly strong I am but also how important it is to take care of yourself and I mean REALLY take care of yourself.
Saying those words and actually doing that are two different things. I think I had been tricking myself into thinking I was okay for years. People would ask me how I was doing and I'd say "I'm great! " or "Yeah, I'm fine thanks". when really what I should have been saying was the truth... "Well I'm actually pretty shitty because I have a crap tonne of reports to write, a child who is peeing everywhere all day long and a student teacher who is terrible and I need to tell her in a kind way her career path is not the right choice'. Yep... reality is actually a bitch sometimes and I think we need to stop lulling ourselves into this false sense of security by saying " I'm good" all the time when obviously that is just not the case. My parents used to always say "A problem shared is a problem halved" and I used to do that when I was younger but something happened along the way where I just stopped sharing. I stopped because I thought it sounded like I was complaining all the time and that's just not the case. I guess I didn't want to be the kind of person who was complaining all the time I wanted to be positive and to have people think " Oh she's so positive all the time" Which I guess they did but on the inside I was screaming! I was anxious, I was tired. You just can't live your life like that because eventually somethings got to give and I think in my case it was my body. Typing these words are pretty tough for me but it's also great... a type of therapy for my soul.
Speaking of therapy I have arranged to see a lady at the counselling office who I saw for my PTSD a few years ago now and I'm excited to say this time I'm actually looking forward to it instead of dreading it.It's not scary at least it shouldn't be. It was great last time and I'm hopefully it will be just as good this time too,
I'm not sure why mental health is such a terrifying thing in our country but I suspect it's because the mind scares people? I know it scares me or it has in the past. I think once we get our minds in the right place everything else comes right or at least that seems to be what is happening for me.
How can you go through life with a constant stressed out frame of mind? You just can't its draining on you, those you love and most importantly on your body.
