Stop saving everyone else and save yourself first!

After the most traumatic month of my life I can honestly now say I'm so grateful to have asked for help. I think I spent a large portion of my life helping others, donating money to charities, giving my time to others, supporting them with their problems and I forgot to look after me!

I recently heard a beautiful song by Ed Sheeran called Save Myself

When I first heard it I burst into tears because it's eactly how I feel right now. Here are some of the lyrics that really resonated with me.

I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe
I gave away my money and now we don't even speak
I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me?
Oh, honestly?
Offered off my shoulder just for you to cry upon
Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm
They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song
It goes on and on

So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself

I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain
'Cause human beings are destined to radiate or dream
What line do we stand upon 'cause from here looks the same?
And only scars remain

No farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself
And before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself
And before I love someone else, I've got to love myself

Songwriters: Ed Sheeran / Timothy Mckenzie / Amy Wadge

Save Myself lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Sometimes you have to admit to yourself that your struggling and even the strongest and kindest of us sometimes need to lean on others. People would often say to me " How can you be so calm and kind to everyone" and I thought to myself because that's how I would like to be treated. My parents always taught me to be the kind of person that treats others the way you'd like to be treated. Looking back on my last 31 years though I think I've given too much of myself. I've been so run down, so tried and so stressed that I literally had nothing left to give.

It wasn't until the 3rd day after our baby was born that a beautiful midwife who I will always remember said to me 'You know you don't need to be strong anymore' 'You can ask for help'. 'People will jump at the chance to help you and cuddle your baby boy' ' Please ask for help'.

Sending those texts and Fb msgs were one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Reaching out for help when I'm usually the one doing the helping. But! I did it and we were sooo grateful! We had visitors, hugs, meals, presents, cards, conversations just so much love overflowed into our little lives. I honestly don't think I would be in such a great place mentally if it wasn't for each and everyone of those people. They showered us with kindness. All those stresses and worries started to melt away. We had more dinners than we could fit in our freezer, more big bags full of snacks and offers from friends to wash our clothes and buy us things we needed from the outside world.

My take home message? If your tired, sick, anxious, worried, stressed. Your not alone, you don't need to be strong! Who are you being strong for? You have people who love you and want to help! You just need to be brave enough to ask.